Dear Reader,
Last week, we discussed the Proximity Paradox—why being in the right room is more important than working harder in the wrong one.
But once you’re in the room, a new danger appears: The Silent Expert. We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we just “put our heads down and work hard,” someone in power will eventually tap us on the shoulder and offer us the dream role. In my first seven years, that was my exact strategy.
It didn’t work. No one is coming to save your career. You have to architect the ask.
This is the fourth rung of the D.R.E.A.M. Ladder: A — Ask for Alignment.
16 Coffee Chats and One “Crazy” Decision
During a massive company reorganization, I was faced with a choice. My manager offered me a “safe” technical role. He even tried to put it down as a backup option “for my own good.”
Most people would have taken it. But I knew that role was aligned with my past, not my future.
I decided to stop being reasonable. I told him, “I would rather lose my job than do something I’m not aligned with.” While everyone else was hiding, I went on the offensive. I set up 16 coffee chats with people in the Commercial and Trading organizations. These weren’t “networking” calls; they were Alignment Audits. I wasn’t asking for a job; I was presenting a business case for why my technical expertise belonged in a commercial seat.
The “Support vs. Lead” Audit
During those chats, I started looking at job descriptions through a new lens. I noticed a recurring pattern in the roles I was being “suggested” for:
- Support the strategy…
- Assist the lead…
- Coordinate the effort…
I realized I had spent years being a “Support” character in someone else’s story. To pivot, I had to find the roles that said: LEAD. I had to negotiate not for the salary I wanted today, but for the remit that aligned with the Global Leader I planned to be in five years.
Alignment isn’t about being “nice.” It’s about ensuring the work you do today is the foundation for the legacy you want to leave tomorrow.
The Architect’s Audit: Negotiating Your Worth
In 2026, the organization will always prioritize its own stability over your significance. It is your job to bridge the gap between your current utility and your future calling.
Take these three tactical steps this week:
- Perform a Verb Audit: Look at your current JD or the next role you’re eyeing. If 80% of your time is spent “supporting” or “assisting,” you are building someone else’s foundation.
- Present a Business Case, Not a Wish List: When you ask for alignment, don’t talk about what you “want.” Talk about the value your future identity will create for the firm.
- Make Peace with “Ambition”: You will be labeled as “too ambitious.” Accept it. People only label what they cannot place within their own limited frameworks.
No one will ever value you higher than you value yourself. Stop waiting for permission to be who you already are.
Reply to this email and tell me: What is the one “Aligned Ask” you are going to make this week? Stop waiting for a “Yes” that’s never coming. Move anyway.
P.S. If you are struggling to find the exact words to ask for what you deserve, I break down my specific Self-Advocacy Framework in the Masterclass. You can watch the “Ask” strategy here:
Next week is the finale. We’re talking about Moving Toward Your Calling. I’ll share the “£5.5 Million House” story and how to build the confidence muscle to actually 10X your life.
